We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
