Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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