is your mom at the bar?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
