Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
How naked do you want me to be?
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