Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
