My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Randomize
