pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Soap is not a condiment
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
