we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
