Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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