Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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