the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
