I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
