JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Who died my cat blue again?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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