im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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