This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
