Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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