and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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