some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
