the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
