i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
