I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
