I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
