you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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