On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Randomize
