Do you still have your period?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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