I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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