Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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