I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
