i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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