She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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