I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize