its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
