dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
