Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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