just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize