your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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