I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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