I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
