Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
