xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
