I must be too annoying 4 u.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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