A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
