we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
