Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
