i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
