She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I will be naked everywhere
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
