did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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