she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
