omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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