yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
