I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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