things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize