adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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