i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
