Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
