I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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