how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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