So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
