a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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