But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
