Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
