I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
