Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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