that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
