if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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