Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
