Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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