Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
