Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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